Dear Santa (the christmas list)

Dear Santa,

i havent wrote to you since i was twelve, and i asked for that nylon 66, 22cal rifle. you delivered that year. the next Thanksgivin, i won a turkey for the fam by putting 3 bullets through the same hole at the blind turkey shoot at the old camarillo state hos-pit-taal.

i havent been particulary good for the past 21 years, but i try my best to be a warm human.
this year i believe to be my warmest year in a long time, so this i why i write you.

Santa, i like driving. i don't really care what it is or how fast it goes but, cruzing anything provokes thought. especially, with music. since my last letter, i believe i've had over 15 vehicles in my life. i think 3 had working stereos. so, this year, the start of the list is for my car stereo to work. driving will be more enjoyable and the thoughts that come out of it i will put to good use, just like my 22cal brought home the bird for Thanksgivin in 89'.

secondly, my mother is getting a knee replacement on the 14th of Dec. if you can bring her good health, i'd be stoked.

third, help my friend George out with his cancer. he's a good man who helps alot of people and doesn't deserve to have that kinda battle. hook him up.


forth, can you make more waves come to the area this year. rad.

fifth, that girl way gave pizza to on the victoria exit yesterday, get her a job so she can feed her kids.

thats it my man,
ride free
the cookies will be out, and the milk will be cold.

warmth
il barbone

Thanksgiving el nueve!!! (jalama style)

up at 3am...napping by 2
happy thanksgiving everybody

warmth
il barbone

last weeks boat ride

we were gonna tag team it out to the "left" so thats what we did.

i was sitting on bayshore at 4am waiting for 'Pan Toastato' to show up so we could get on the move.
i had only slept 10 hours in the last three days but, i was fired up to get some at the Galapagos of the northern hemi. 'The Berg" showed just on time which is 10 minutes late for him and were off.

the constant buzz of feelings

this doode is totally feeling it. i know some others are as well.

A Promise

"a promise to go to heaven, won't keep salvation in sight"

is it the wrong person...

...or the wrong time?

more Halloween el nueve!!!

rebel on a froggie ride
rebel with scuba steve
the lego man just got out of prison
the backwards ride
the Rebel again

an email from a friend (the shortest fairytale EVer)

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl, 'Will you marry me?'. The girl said, 'NO!'. And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and surfed a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

THE END

Salina to Boulder Relay (no one to relay to)

fine dinning
TRIPPIE costume
to much purple drank
melting into romance
DEVOTCHKA!!!
woke up in salina utah at sun up. i was freezing my ass off...,burr burrr burrrr plop.
fired up the motor coache and heaters to 11. after about 20 minutes, i saddled up and champed the last 6 hours to Boulder.

when i got into town, a ball game had just ended in flat iron town and the streets were flooded with the future of America in full costume and falling out of bar windows. i'm glad that big companys hire new employees based on what school they went to and which SAFROITY someone was in. (one glitch in my story) that whole 2012, end of earth thang people talk about...it's not gonna be some crazy explosion or some hollyhood shit...it's just gonna be when the majority of humans become cerebrally, inhuman. this will be the end. 49/51. i'm just waiting for 51/49. OK! on with the story.

got a hotel room. contacted the Rebel. and bathed.

when the Rebel showed up we got our makeup on, went to the front desk, got a coupon to Boulders #1 steakhouse from out boy TUcker (thanks doode) and lit the fuse of the nite.

we showed up to this upity dinning experience dressed like undead backpackers and ordered the best bottle of wine in the joint just for shits and giggles.
Chris "i'll be helping you guys out tonite" was our waiter. seemed like a nice enough doode, but i had to put him on the spot. he rolled up to our table hummin like the ol'hippie lettuce. so i called him out in the middle of his specials rant. "uh, Chris, yeah, do you happen to take pulls off the wacky tabaccy?". the fucking doode went deer in headlights!!! SO EPIC!!!

the steak had to have been the best steak i have ever(not joking at all) everever had. Rebel and I met the chef "Mathew" out on the loading dock for a blasty after the meal. Mathew was a traveling chef from Boston. small world. after our talk with the chef we were off.

now, Boulders got like 3 differant concert venues around it. theres the fox, the boulder, and the somethingelse. we went to the wrong one first and ghostface killa was playin. totally wrong spot, but way funny.

after getting to the right venue, i went to will call and found out i bought tickets for the night before...oct 30th...not good.

i informed the will call girl that i had traveled great distances of land, sea, and air to get to the show. she gave a crooked smile, signed the ticket and we were in.....heres the pics

beating jet lag

1. go on a road trip pronto
2. drink beer...(not in the car)
3. listen to tons of music that you know the lyrics to and sing it back to the singer. (out of key is OK)

REMEDIED...

if i had an eye,(where the oldest earth meets the youngest)

i'd always take pictures like this

Salina, Utah

Oct 31st 2000nueve.....2am-ish
22 degrees.
small backseat illuminated by the glow of the catepillar tonka toy sign. (toys for big kids!)
this was the coldest night sleep i've had since the meteor shower in 89' where my brother laughed at me and my best friend snuggled like husband and wife. it was fuct.

OK, Okokok (say it like joe pesci in that lethal weapon flick)

pardon the run-on...
so, i jumped a flight to LAX on oct. 27th. i only drank 1 beer on the flight home and didn't even take a melotonin. the flight was the better part of 12 hours and i only slept for 3. check this. full shit luck. i'm sitting by myself in a row of five seats the whole time the plane is boarding. no joke, the very fcuking last person to board the plane stuffs my whole sleeping plan for the trip back and sits in the row i'm in. then she had the sack to lay down across all four of the empty seats.( i was in LA before i even left the tarmac.)

this guy with a moustache picked me up from the airport. the guy was a friend but, he lost his name behind his moustache.hahaha. he got me at like 7am and we were sitting in Bobbis mexican food eating BCR's before noon. Burritos have never tasted so good. after our lunch break and a bit of a bobble "the moustache" dropped me off at the train station so i could get to Habes to pic up the new motor coache!!!

quick train ride.....only broke down in LA and had to change engines. shit. i was getting pins and needles in my butt cheek. is that normal?

Habe picked me up in Solana Beach and we drove to his spot. i finally laid my head down at about midnight. i felt like i had never been to sleep before. we woke to the smell of hot business and drove down to check the surf. after the surf, we went back to his spot. i was way excited to get there. i finally got to meet his son. Ezra Gray. the most epic inspiration of a kid ever. born with a big hole in his heart and a club foot, he's already kicked both of those things asses. open heart surgery before 6 months old and smile'n bigger than your standard multi-millionaire.
so freakin smiley.

i spent the rest of the day with Elsa and Luciana Mathews, checked in with Ty "da wing" and then was off to C-town to grab some warm clothes and get my ass to Boulder for a Devotchka Halloween.

so, got back to the beloved Camarillo "where exactly is Camarillo?" and was convinced by the doodes to stay the nite and go to ka-row-kee at Outlaws.

beers
cheers
skating
dancing
singing
Fast Foward to 2pm on OCt 30th.

the new motor coache gets fired up. email the "Rebel" and made sure he was still game. he said "yeah", so i started the drive.
BOULDER OR BURST!!!

rainbow

If Rumpelstiltskin can spin hay, i mean "oh, haaaay", into gold, and William Wallace can shoot lighting bolts out of his arse, well, then i can ride a rainbow from New Zealand to San Francisco.
ride free.

the two worst smells on my mustache

1. egg yolk
2. cream cheese

doode, absolute rank.

PINK EYE

i thought this only happened to wrestlers and kids who play with dog poop.

Auckland Airport

the start of a very freakin busy week.