TSUNAMI!!! (catch a wave and your sittin on top of the world!)

so it goes.
7.9 earthquake off american samoa.
tsunami headed towards NZ.
supposed to hit in 3 minutes.
people are running for the hills.
i packed my boards and wetties. should be able to float around for days.
in the meantime, hang out upstairs and watch the paddock flood.

really worried for the couches though.
),,,/

LAMBCHOPS ( THE LAMB DEVIL)

today i met up with kit and ruth robins. kits real first name was chris, but, he changed it to kit after being heckled his whole life for being friends with poop bear and piglet.

anywho, they needed help on there lifestyle block with the lambs. i felt like getting some more culture under my belt and cruz'd over to there house with jane.

kit is a stand up doode. with talked politics, philosophy, and quality of life. then we headed into the paddock to round up the lambs. cute little things. running, jumping, playing, sucking teet, you get the picture. kit showed me how to pic the lil thangs up and hold'm while his wife did this horrific procedure to them. more horrific is what we were doin to the boys.

all of the lambs were have their tails removed and the boys were having the pleasure of getting there testies tied off.

now, i'm not a fan to much of inflicting pain on animals really, not unless i'm gonna grind'm.
so, i grab the first lamb. it's a female. i'm instructed to hold the front legs in one hand and the back legs with another and sit the lamb upright on the fencepost. at this time, the lamb is bucking and squirming, bhhaaaaing in my ear, and the mom is yelling at me too while i have its child in my unbreakable grasp. so ruth, with an inverted pair of pliers and one industrial rubber lband slides it over the tail and tells me to let the lamb go. the lamb is bhhhhaaaing so loud, and dragging its arse all over the grass.

the next one i grab is a boy. ruth grabs 2 rubberbands. i got a very bizzare feeling in the bottom of my scrodum. she grab the boys balls, looks at me and says "i hate doin this to the boys" and slides a industrial band around his nuts. i was stare'n into his eyes and he into mine. i felt terrible. then she slid the other around his tail. i think this is the only time in life where a male gets the major shit end of the stick. otherwise life as a male is pretty maintenance free. ruth tells me to let'm go. i set him down on his back and he just laid there wondering what the hell just happened. a few minutes later, he stood up and walked to the top of this hill, check the view, and just capsized and rolled down the hill. absolutely horrible to watch, and i had 16 more to do.

this is a picture of the "devil lamb", the remover of balls.

Charlie

charlie is 89 years young. he has terrible emphysema. every two sentences he take a 30 second breather. the arthritis in his hands has made his thumbs the size of summer sausages and barely movable. (best thumbs up ever). he was recognized as a war hero in WWII. he invented numerous attachments to tractors to improve farming from 1930 to the 90's. he is one badass individual.

i had the pleasure to spend the day with charlie and do some work around his 40 acre lifestyle block. his wife isn't a fan of the bush, so he leaves her in cambridge to play gin with the ladies. charlie splits to the top of lund rd. to hang out, watch the birds, trees, and the world go by. charlie is an absolute daredevil on his 1962 massy ferguson tractor. ("the best tractor"). we drove around, cut down trees(the cainsaw broke...did it with an ax. i am a pussy), cleared bush, laid down gravel, and he showed me some of the machines he built. doode, this guy made stuff in the 50's that looks like it could have be in the movie "total recall" or out of G.O's "1984". super rad.

everyone should seek out people like this in their lives and just ask questions. it's worth listening.

nz pulls peoples drivers lincense at the age of 90. charlies got til Feb. after that, getting to his beloved bush house is gonna be difficult. i just might have to pick him up.

NATE, GRAHM, AND BLAKE.

i'm trying to think of something amazing to write rite here. i cant' really. just know this. there is a select group of people that was chosen to be able to devour what was offered in real time. if you were one of the chosen, there was guidance in the time chaos. thank you blake, for making things easier for a whole bunch of us.(photo:mike funk)

Shjoan Wildher!

if you have never seen "The Jewel of the Nile", take a hike.
so, i tried a new art/craft today in town. it's a silver ring making coarse put on by this
rad lil' stain glass shoppe down the way. making jewelry is way difficult, but super fun.
and you get to wear some way high performance gear. like Sherlock Holmes/Blade Runner goggle head gear shit that makes your vision like Voltron dude....repeat after me......"AND I'LL FORM THE HEAD!!!"

a new leaf

so, i delivered some limes to a bar in town last nite, struck up a conversation with the bartender, and had a beer. it was beginning to get a bit cold, so i walked back to the "Falvan" to get a sweater.
headed back to bar to finish up the conversation with Thom (the bartender) and then went for a stroll. after the walk i went back to the "Falvan" and saw that it had been broken into. rad.
1 warm jacket, 6 mixed cd's, 2 ipods, 1 digi-cam, and 1 car stereo face are no longer mine. total bummer wave.
if anyone has a extra i-pod, access to kyle rogers music library, a digi-cam, and the playlists for those sick mixed cd's i got from, marc, nate, kyle, and brooke, i'm willing to take them off your hands.

pictures and video will now be a rarity on this blog. and music will no longer sing to me in the orchard.
dumb.

the nutshell that is Gizzy (gisborne)

uhhhhh. gisborne.
so, gizzy is totally like santa cruz california.
hippies
surfers
meth heads
lettuce lovers (hippie in nature)
bums
beautiful landscape
no employment
and bad ass f-in surf.

quick story. pulled into gizzy after dark. wanted a steak and beer. settled for nasi gorang w/pork.
chopstick food. walked the main drag. hit up by a meth head for some flo, i said no. then he demanded my food. i told him to f-off. i
told him i begged for the money so i could get it. jajajajajjajaja.
ate.slept.got barreled.got weird.
gizzy is so far removed from civilization it's almost scary.
gizzy is awsome.

Spring (oh yeh)

so, i've had allergies since i was 20 years old. i found this out on a punk rock road trip to Oregon with Matt hurdle and Kevin scardina.we listened to 'the choice of a new generation' the whole trip. that introduction to allergies was the worst. period.(any questions...ask)

every spring i pop a couple of those little disco biscuits for a month or so and life continues on as normal (besides the crank thats in that shit that make me talk 50 times faster) til summer.

so, it's spring down in this piece. totally beautiful i might add but, being that 99% of NZD is BUSH, (not George) my face is a bit stuffed.

i went down to the pharmacy for the usual thinking "hey, no sweat, remedies taken" go about my day, but the stuffy face persisted.

i then began to think. shit, i'm allergic to citrus....rad, so i work on a lime farm 6 ta 8 hours a day and i'm allergic to my provider.so , i look up on webMD, organic remedies for citrus allergies.
CALCIUM...i think...leche. anybody who knows me...knows my deal with the dairy...i could freaking play every brass instrument in a classical symphony with how much steam i produce from lactose produces. but fcuk it. i can't breathe,.

so. i start getting weird on the milk and every morning is the same routine. picture going to jamba for your favorite mud blended in fresh fragrant stench of " oh lord hesus christo". so rad.
by the way. this organic remedy ain't working for squat.

i quit the milk. for the sake of the commonwealth of katikati. but i still got this stuffed face.itchy/ eye/ear/throat program and it fucking up my sleep pattern.

it's pouring rain out last nite. i'm having a coldy , hanging with the puss... thats the cat. and i start gettin stuffed up. way bad. i rubbed my right eye. big mistake. and it start burning like the time when i was 11 and i rode my bike to malibu creek state park with bobby mattingly (crap, bless him and his afro) to catch bullfrogs. i fully got bullfrog piss in my eyeball. don't ask how, but it happened, and that shit burns like hell. doode, this eyeball burn i had last nite was of that degree. if your not catching my drift. go to bathroom...squirt a drip of dial antibactrial soap up in your eye and kick it a sec. lemme know what does for ya..

so, this mutherfcuker of a puss (new aka lucifia) has been camping on my sleeping bag for the past 5 weeks dropping dander bombs and giving me thoughts of cardiac arrest.

the cat is now 86'd...no more love from this lover.

Zoro, idono if i ever talked shit about your allergies to cats, but if i did, i am way sorry.
puss's suck.

this post is dedicated to Brian McCarthy and the child that is to invade his life. fill the kegerator

Trout...Mr. Vegas

if ever in vegas, and your buddy comes back to the hotel at 7:30am with his topsiders in his hands with no socks on...what would you think?
only the palm trees of north Vegas have the answers. pics to come

Sadie Lee!

future country star.

ODT and REHAB

wish you two could cruz out. there's a bunch of weirdness that needs to get handled out here.
gotta love the haters.