VOLTAGE (a commitment to excellence)

trip out
barrel stance.the cobra flex

GET THE POT ON!!!

that's the phrase you yell when you walk in your friends house and it's f---ing pissin down rain outside and like 40 degrees. funny thing is, it's spring already and we've already moved the clocks foward. it's only stopped raining for 2 hours in the last 54. thats when i made my break for the lawn mower and handle some f-in business. now, calling the radiator "my girl", i hear the jolly cheer of "GET THE POT ON!!!" it's tea time folks.

Brown Corduroys

it had been flat and raining for a week or so. will and i had a justice surf on some knee high doughballs in the afternoon to say we got wet. will was having a blast out there. i had fun but, he was giggling like a little kid. after we went in he told me he had been on the beer since 9 in the mornin. pretty funny.

i was gonna drive to gizzy the next day cuz the swell and wind were looking a lil' thumb to pinky but, i still had 50 kilos of limes to pic and box so i held back.

gotta call from will at like 10am, wondering if i was keen. i was. so i met him at Sir Edmund Hillarys bach.(pronounced batch;aka, holiday house: i started call'n'em Johann's. makes more sence or cents)

we did that beautiful hike over to Orokawa, and were greeted by blue corduroy.
from now on...i think i'll only where my brown cords to the beach.

TSUNAMI!!! (catch a wave and your sittin on top of the world!)

so it goes.
7.9 earthquake off american samoa.
tsunami headed towards NZ.
supposed to hit in 3 minutes.
people are running for the hills.
i packed my boards and wetties. should be able to float around for days.
in the meantime, hang out upstairs and watch the paddock flood.

really worried for the couches though.
),,,/

LAMBCHOPS ( THE LAMB DEVIL)

today i met up with kit and ruth robins. kits real first name was chris, but, he changed it to kit after being heckled his whole life for being friends with poop bear and piglet.

anywho, they needed help on there lifestyle block with the lambs. i felt like getting some more culture under my belt and cruz'd over to there house with jane.

kit is a stand up doode. with talked politics, philosophy, and quality of life. then we headed into the paddock to round up the lambs. cute little things. running, jumping, playing, sucking teet, you get the picture. kit showed me how to pic the lil thangs up and hold'm while his wife did this horrific procedure to them. more horrific is what we were doin to the boys.

all of the lambs were have their tails removed and the boys were having the pleasure of getting there testies tied off.

now, i'm not a fan to much of inflicting pain on animals really, not unless i'm gonna grind'm.
so, i grab the first lamb. it's a female. i'm instructed to hold the front legs in one hand and the back legs with another and sit the lamb upright on the fencepost. at this time, the lamb is bucking and squirming, bhhaaaaing in my ear, and the mom is yelling at me too while i have its child in my unbreakable grasp. so ruth, with an inverted pair of pliers and one industrial rubber lband slides it over the tail and tells me to let the lamb go. the lamb is bhhhhaaaing so loud, and dragging its arse all over the grass.

the next one i grab is a boy. ruth grabs 2 rubberbands. i got a very bizzare feeling in the bottom of my scrodum. she grab the boys balls, looks at me and says "i hate doin this to the boys" and slides a industrial band around his nuts. i was stare'n into his eyes and he into mine. i felt terrible. then she slid the other around his tail. i think this is the only time in life where a male gets the major shit end of the stick. otherwise life as a male is pretty maintenance free. ruth tells me to let'm go. i set him down on his back and he just laid there wondering what the hell just happened. a few minutes later, he stood up and walked to the top of this hill, check the view, and just capsized and rolled down the hill. absolutely horrible to watch, and i had 16 more to do.

this is a picture of the "devil lamb", the remover of balls.

Charlie

charlie is 89 years young. he has terrible emphysema. every two sentences he take a 30 second breather. the arthritis in his hands has made his thumbs the size of summer sausages and barely movable. (best thumbs up ever). he was recognized as a war hero in WWII. he invented numerous attachments to tractors to improve farming from 1930 to the 90's. he is one badass individual.

i had the pleasure to spend the day with charlie and do some work around his 40 acre lifestyle block. his wife isn't a fan of the bush, so he leaves her in cambridge to play gin with the ladies. charlie splits to the top of lund rd. to hang out, watch the birds, trees, and the world go by. charlie is an absolute daredevil on his 1962 massy ferguson tractor. ("the best tractor"). we drove around, cut down trees(the cainsaw broke...did it with an ax. i am a pussy), cleared bush, laid down gravel, and he showed me some of the machines he built. doode, this guy made stuff in the 50's that looks like it could have be in the movie "total recall" or out of G.O's "1984". super rad.

everyone should seek out people like this in their lives and just ask questions. it's worth listening.

nz pulls peoples drivers lincense at the age of 90. charlies got til Feb. after that, getting to his beloved bush house is gonna be difficult. i just might have to pick him up.

NATE, GRAHM, AND BLAKE.

i'm trying to think of something amazing to write rite here. i cant' really. just know this. there is a select group of people that was chosen to be able to devour what was offered in real time. if you were one of the chosen, there was guidance in the time chaos. thank you blake, for making things easier for a whole bunch of us.(photo:mike funk)